I looked through the peephole; it was Vismay, looking all nervous. Why wouldn’t he? This wasn’t going to be just another sex experience. He was ab...ut to experience something unthinkable. A surprise was waiting for him at my office.I let him in. We kissed as usual. I asked him to go to my cabin. He sat there waiting for me. I went to store room, took a rope. Made sure main door of the office is locked and went to my cabin. He was sitting there staring at the view outside windows.I asked him if. I am so confused right now, I don’t know what I want. I want tomorrow to come and go, so that the memories of you will slowly fade, so that I can go on with my life, a life that will never be complete without you in it. Yet another part of me wishes for the night to never end, because I know that the next day I would loose you forever. Tomorrow is the day that you will get married. I know you don’t want to leave me, as I truly know that I am the one you really love. But your life is obligated. Anything. But even when I mention it, it gets denied. I blame it on lack of time but have always been fearful that it will end the same way for me. Finally getting a photo together and seeing that same unloving fake smile in your eyes as I did his.Now when I leave you, I do not cry. It's easy for me to get in my car and race away. Thinking how stupid I was for expecting anything at all from you. Blaming myself for being in the wrong mindset for the encounter. Having the wrong personality for. In 2003 five months after returning home we were sent to Afghanistan and in this country I would learn the meaning of loving your brothers more than yourself you would die for them. On Christmas Eve 2004 we went to a village in a area of heavy insurgency and we were to evacuate the civilians. That night all hell would break loose and in the end my life would never be the same. You see in the first wave attack that night I was hit several times and so were many of my friends and fellow soldiers..
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