I was tired, tense, nervous,and terribly ashamed of myself. I'd given up on the notion of going outwith Sonia, and all I wanted to do now was get dres...ed again in the niceclothes I wore over here this morning and get out!But it looked like the only way to do that was to go ahead and washSonia's car... in panties! Burning with shame, I carried the cleaningsupplies to the car and turned on the hose.And now another problem: the hose connections were leaky, and whenever Iused the hose, a small jet. I know that Nicolas isn't going to be like that, but I don’t feel the need to have sex right now. Exploring my sexuality like this, gives me more reason to wait, to find out what I like before giving myself to a guy. I glance at a shelf behind us and see these little bullet-shaped things. I pick one up, wondering what it does. “Sadie, what are these?” I hold it, liking the cold metal against my skin. It gives me the shivers. “Those are bullets! You can use them inside, or against your clit.. Even so, sometimes i still experienced uncomfortable feelings. Being with Frank made me feel really good inside, but the basic insecurity about myself and my sexuality was still there and would creep into my head. Like sometimes i would wonder, just a bit, in the back of my mind, whether he actually meant what he was saying to me. Is that really the way he thought of me? Was he seeing me as the ‘cum slut’ he’d call me? My thinking became more neurotic and i needed reassurance that things were. We also were close enough to exchange kisses on text (only text like :* and mmuuaahh and not even on voice calls). The conversation went on and on and there were talks about food and then she said ” I love pasta..white sauce..cheese cheese and more cheese”. I being a foodie and as I love cooking and cook pretty well (not bragging, people say this :P) invited her to my place the next day, Sunday. Like every other girl, she was hesitant enough, “No No, I cannot come to your place, what will your.
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