I was putting a couple of DVD's away but I could feel him staring at me. He sat up."I'm going to go get some food, you wanna go?" Nah, I'm pretty tire..., I think I'm going to head to bed" Come on bro, we're in college now, live a little" Fuck it, you're right, fine, lets head out"++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++A couple weeks into the semester and I'm swamped with homework and papers, I barely even see Ryan, He seems to go to a lot of parties and come back to the dorm wobbly and reeking of. He had one of his polo shirts with him in his backpack so hecould change later. He figured this was just a one day thing. After all,he realized he did not have the advantage here, so he'd be nice to thestupid girls, and things would go back to normal.When he was done the session, Stacy came over and asked him. "I'm gladto see you are dressed appropriately, Jake, but you shouldn't wear thesame shirt every day."Jake tried to lighten things up so he laughed a bit. "Yeah, I agree.I'll give it. But I decided to it was going to have to be his move now and I was willing to accept the fact that I might have to just be his friend if nothing more if he would let me. I felt a little guilty but I also felt I had to do something to find another boy to be with. I didn't like girls sexually and I often tried to figure out why that was. Girls just didn't turn me on. I tried to think of touching girls (them) and having them love me back but I didn't feel anything inside that made me want. I prayed and cried. I was a wreck. If I stayed and had the baby everyone would know about it. I would be branded an unwed mother, and worse. If I took Grant’s money, went off somewhere and gave the baby up for adoption, I’d have to be gone for a few months, then come back home. Everyone would know anyway. They’d think I had gotten myself pregnant and gotten rid of the baby. That’s just the way it is in a small town. As time moved on I started getting bigger. My clothes were getting tighter. I.
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