"Diane, did you hear what happened to your son tonight?" Eric? What are you doing here? Why aren't you out with your girlfriend?" She dumped me. I don...t want to talk about it." Well, you're welcome to join us. Do you want a beer?" Sure"My mom brought me a beer from the refrigerator and said "I guess I won't be the only one without someone to kiss tonight." What do you mean? Where's dad?" Oh he passed out a half hour ago. He never stays up until midnight." That sucks, I'm sorry mom." Don't worry. That being the way my luck usually seems to go I decided that I would never bother getting married again. So why did I marry a third time knowing that the marriage couldn't possibly last a year, two years at most? I have to blame my father for that.From the time I was old enough to understand words my father preached responsibility. To him the mark of a man was being responsible for his actions. Break a window with a baseball? Own up to it and make restitution. Fail a math test? Admit to not. Walking over to the bar, helooks around at the surroundings. Everywhere his eyes travel he seesbeautiful T.V.'s, T.S's, C.D.'s, and D.V.D.'s. The barman walks over tohim and asks if he'd like a drink."Sure. In fact, I'd like to buy all of these lovely ladies a drink aswell."A thunderous chorus of 'thank you's rang out and air kisses abounded asif it might have been L.A. or even Encino? This story, in fact, takesplace in a wondrous mystical city of Detroit. So the barman proceeds topour all. I knew I liked her when she threatened to handcuff me. She was just flirting, of course. The type of comment that would have gotten a male officer arrested for sexual harrassment if he had said it to a woman. But I wasn't about to call her out on it." She sounds like quite a woman." Unfortunately, she was a little too aggressive even for me. I mean, it was fun in the bedroom, but it didn't stay there. You know the stereotypical dominating man who always has to control every little aspect.
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